Bingo, Bongo, Bonzo

National Pet Week is May 6-12, a little over a week away.  Mark your calendar and celebrate!

“I hate being stuck inside this gate all day, every day.  A dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.  I want to find myself a new master.  Let me figure out how to break out.  Success!  Aaaaaaaaah, the air.   So much sniffing to do.  So many fire hydrants to…..  I’m going to run around the neighborhood and see what’s up.  Wow!  Look at all the mud puddles.  (Roll, roll, roll, get filthy and stinky.)  This is the life every dog deserves.  Wait, who’s that?  That lady in her front yard pulling weeds.  I’m gonna go check her out.  Maybe I can win her heart.  (I show her my sad-eyes trick.  She approaches me.)  Bingo!”

Bongo
July 2, 2007

I heard a clinking sound, turned around, and saw this adorable, shy dog, obviously lost.  I coaxed him toward me and noticed he had tags on his collar, Bongo.  One tag had Bongo’s address.  I walked him home, about three blocks away.  Bongo walked in heel-mode the entire way, leashless.  My heart is beginning to melt.  I rang the doorbell.  No one answered.  A neighbor was outside and I asked, “Do you know who lives here?”  She answered “yes.”  I asked, “Can you call and see if anyone’s home?”  She did.  No answer.  I compared the phone number on Bongo’s tag to the number the neighbor had called.  Not the same.  I sat in Bongo’s grass a minute pondering what to do next.  Bongo cuddled beside me and patiently waited while I pondered.  My heart is melting some more.  The trash guys drove by and I waved them down,  “Do any of you have a cell phone I can borrow for a minute?”  The driver handed me his and I called the number on Bongo’s tag.  It was a pet rescue organization and the woman on the other end said she would call Bongo’s owner.  I told her I would walk Bongo back to my home and gave her my phone number for the (soon to be former) owner to call me.  I decided to see how smart he was.  “Stop.”  “Sit.”  “Stay.”  “Down.”  Bongo did every command perfectly.  My heart is going pitter-patter, pitter-patter.  Bongo’s master called me and expressed enormous apologies for “her” dog getting loose.  I nonchalantly said, “He’s so sweet, I might keep him.”  Her next words sent my heart almost into cardiac arrest: “If you want him, you can have him.”  She explained to me that she adopted Bongo from the pet rescue organization a year before, and she and her husband recently divorced, and she kept this furry four-legged gem.  But her work demanded a lot of travel and long hours.  She had been looking for a new owner for Bongo but it had to be just the right person.  Grabbing some kleenex to wipe away these tears of joy!

About a year later, I actually bothered to look at the original adoption papers that the previous owner had given me when Bongo became mine.  Deciphering the cursive handwriting of the agency person whose signature was on the form, I realized it read Bonzo, not Bongo!  Oh well, as Shakespeare wrote in Romeo & Juliet, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Pets:

• Teach us how to Love
• Show us the true meaning of Compassion
• Make us Kids Again
• Support us through the Rough Patches of Life
• Help us Get Along Better

 

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

Silent Voice Is Sometimes The Loudest

Yesterday I spent the gorgeous afternoon working with the 100% Living team at Earth Day at Lake Eola (Orlando, Florida).  100% Living, owned by my sister and brother-in-law, Kim and Darrell Smith, promotes the message of “indulge in the bounty of the great outdoors in harmony with nature.”  We enjoyed introducing a few thousand attendees to the company’s line of 100% organic cotton shirts (the softest shirts ever!) with graphics that ignite the senses.   All different kinds of people stopped by who share a common denominator: preservation and protection of Mother Nature.  We answered questions galore: “What makes a shirt ‘organic’?  How is the cotton grown?  Why did you start the company?  What does ‘100% Living’ mean?  Would you be interested in being a guest speaker?*, etc., etc., etc.”  Very introspective inquiries.

Darrell Smith,
Outdoor Enthusiast

One visitor was particularly memorable.  The young man, on the thin side, probably in his 20’s, alone, walked into the 100% Living tent-booth.  Darrell greeted him.  The man said nothing.  A series unfolded: Feel the 100% Living shirts on display.  Read the descriptive signage.  Look around.  Think.  Feel again.  Re-read.  Look around again.  Think some more.  Then some more.  And more.  The man of zero words repeated these same actions over a period of about five minutes.

We three got the same vibe — this man was doing things his way, leave him be.  It was like an episode right out of Seinfeld.  A bit absurd…not that there’s anything wrong with that!  Then the earth shook.  The man pointed and spoke, “I’ll take one.  Size medium.  The ‘tread’ style.”  He took out his wallet, paid, my sister thanked him, and he was lost back into the crowd.

We three looked at each other and smiled.  Sometimes what you don’t say is as important as what you do say.

 

*Need a guest speaker?  Darrell Smith, outdoor enthusiast and co-owner of 100% Living,” is an expert on a diversity of topics related to environmental consciousness and living an active, healthy lifestyle in unity with nature.  Contact: dsmith@100percentliving.com.

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

Anderson Cooper, Please Call Me

There are some people who have an aura of unconditional positivity and fun.  You want to be around them because you’re guaranteed to feel good.  I can’t exactly pinpoint what the common denominator is among these individuals, but if I had to try, I’d say there’s always a twinkle of joy as well as mischievousness in their eyes.  It has nothing to do with their gender, size, age, or looks.  There’s just a friskiness in their personality and a lilt in their stride.  Something always happens, completely unplanned, when they’re in your midst that makes you laugh — alot. Their laughter is infectious. The atmosphere is consistent even in very serious or sad times.  Whether you see or talk with these individuals rarely or frequently, this feeling always exists when the two of you connect.  In fact, just the thought of them makes you smile.  Remind you of anyone?

(On the flip side, we all have people in our lives who stress us out no matter what.  Tension mounts.  You find it hard to hold your tongue.  The negative energy is exhausting.  You know something is going to happen that twists your insides when you’re with them.  Remind you of anyone?)

One of these magical people in my life is Anderson Cooper; in case you’re not familiar with him, he hosts a news show every night on CNN, “Anderson Cooper 360,” and he has a syndicated daytime talk-show simply named his name.  I’ve never met him.  Maybe someday I will, and if I do I’ll say “Thanks for the good times.”  His news is serious, he tackles tough subjects.  Through them all, he’s still got that Anderson Cooper-swagger.  Watch these 2 videos and you’ll see what I mean: Anderson Cooper Reports On Dyngus Day (if the link doesn’t work, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V61VWE5P5z4) and Anderson Cooper Reports On Gerard Depardieu (if the link doesn’t work, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSazc5u5CIw).

I am fortunate to have a lot of ordinary, non-celebrity “Anderson Coopers” in my day-to-day life.  In writing this, I realize I gravitate to them without consciously thinking about it.   These individuals probably have no idea what pleasure they bring to my life.  I’m going to thank them the next time we connect.

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

Boy Was I Fooled On March 28, 2007

Uch, that smirk makes me sick to my stomach now.

I have always believed that most people are trustworthy to the core.

Today, John Edwards is on trial for misusing campaign funds to cover up his affair with Rielle Hunter while he pursued presidential election in 2008.  He has pleaded not guilty.  The case hinges on whether more than $900,000 given to Hunter and former Edwards aid Andrew Young by two of the candidate’s supporters amounted to illegal campaign contributions.

I could care less about about the court case.  But seeing his name in the news headlines brings forth utter disgust, and how he fooled me.  I wrote an editorial that was published in the Orlando Sentinel on March 28, 2007, espousing his moral integrity.  This is what I wrote in that published article:

Based on Integrity, John Edwards Is Already Clear-Cut Winner

“It’s not about who’s Democrat or Republican.  Or foreign policy.  Or abortion.  Or gun control.

Americans are sick and tired of being embarrassed by the lustful escapades of our leaders at their every twist and turn.  We long for a role model, a chief of our country with no “Monica’s” in the closet.  Snicker, snicker, snicker.

John Edwards, married 30 years to his first and only wife may be our man.  Following the diagnosis of his wife Elizabeth’s return of cancer, the couple jointly decided for him to continuing running for election.  The Edwards held a joint press conference to explain their circumstances, and proudly expressed the selflessness and support each has shown the other through the decades.  Together, they’re looking forward to the future, whatever it may hold.

The argument is abuzz that “marriage” itself and a candidate’s marital history should not be a political issue.  However, Edward’s success in the marriage arena represents a bigger picture, a picture from which no citizen in our country is exempt.

Divorce is expensive financially to everyone in our society.  A report conducted atUtahStateUniversityfound that divorce costs the U.S. $33.3 billion per year, or $312 per household, to cover child support enforcement, assistance to needy families, food stamps, bankruptcies, etc.  A report published by Life Innovations, Inc., stated that American businesses lose $6 billion annually due to lost productivity stemming from marriage and relationship difficulties of employees.  Divorce disrupts the workplace more than drugs or alcohol.

Divorce carries heavy, personal economic toll, estimated by Forbes to be $15,000 to $30,000.

Divorce is costly to our children and affects them well into their future, emotionally, socially and academically.  They’re at greater risk for high school delinquency, teen pregnancy, poverty, criminal behavior, depression, and alcohol and drug abuse.  Parental divorce is one of the strongest predictors of suicide, now the second leading cause of death among teens.

Now, it’s time to connect the dots and study some of the leading presidential contenders and their track records.

Testing the waters, in a recent interview with a conservative Christian group, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich divulged having an extramarital affair at the same time he was leading the charges to impeach President Clinton for allegations of perjury associated with the president’s immoral exploits with Monica Lewinsky.  How do you spell “hypocrite”?

Many give kudos to Hillary Clinton for stayed married before and after Bill’s affair(s).  Have they really worked things out?  Many observers feel that the couple’s relationship is about gaining political power, and the love between the Mr. and Mrs. is chillier than the ice-cream at Stone Cold Creamery.

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani has skeletons, too.  In May 2000, when news broke of his extramarital relationship with Judith Nathan, to whom he is now married, he called a quickie press conference to announce his intention to separate from his second wife Donna Hanover, but failed to tell her before the announcement.   His 21-year-old son Andrew told the New York Times that he would not be campaigning for his dad for president because “There’s obviously a little problem that exists between me and his wife.  And we’re trying to figure that out.  But as of right now it’s not working as well as we would like.” There’s more.  Nathan, our potential First Lady, also revealed that, like Giulani, this is her third marriage.  That’s six marriages between them.

Presidential hopeful Senator John McCain told reporters “I would hope that gossip – or quote ‘family issues’ – would not enter into this campaign.”  His concern may stem from his engagement in extramarital affairs upon returning from the Vietnam War, including with Cindy Hensley.  A year later, McCain divorced his wife Carol and a month after that, he married Hensley.

So, as other candidates and prospects scramble to squelch their personal track records, Edwards has displayed leadership qualities that Americans have been hungering for – morals, values and integrity.”

Yuck!  What John Edwards really got away with was having an affair and getting his mistress pregnant while his beautiful wife was dying of cancer.  But there’s no penalty for that.  And he has no remorse.  What a creep.

Like I said earlier, I have always believed that most people are trustworthy to the core.  I still do.  But, the John Edwardses of the world certainly make me a little more cautious.

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

BOGO Greeting Cards Bring Mixed Emotions

BOGO means Buy One Get One Free.  I’m the old-fashioned type who still likes to mail birthday and anniversary cards to close family members.  I take pleasure in matching just the right card to just the right person.  My local grocery store is having a BOGO sale on greeting cards right now.

Greeting cards have more than average meaning to me.  Just before the time I graduated college, I got a ferocious case of the flu.  I was so sick I was hospitalized.  I lost 10 pounds in one week, 10 pounds which weren’t extra.  I looked emaciated.  A whole sequence of difficult events happened at the same time…the perfect storm…and I got extremely depressed.  Every day was dark and bleak.  And I was very weak from being ill.  The one thing I would do and could do that helped me maintain a positive outlook was go to stores and read greeting cards.  They represented hope.  I knew I wanted more birthdays.  Over time, through reading probably hundreds of different greeting cards, and with a lot of help and support from medical professionals, family members and friends, I regained my footing.

Back to the BOGO sale.  I keep a year-long list of family members’ events and instead of my usual buying a few greeting cards at a time at the beginning of each month, I took my entire list with me to the grocery store having the sale.  On aisle 12, as I went through my list, I was overcome by sorrow.  I realized I have lost too many dear people to death over the past several years.  This task was no “bargain.”

When I got home with my bag full of greeting cards, far fewer than they use to be, I was in a real funk. 

Then I did some soul searching.  Thinking about life.  What came to me is that, yes, I’ve lost numerous people I love beyond description and no one, no one can ever replace them, and my heart will always ache with grief.  But, also over the same several years, many new people have entered my life.  Truly amazing, wonderful and inspiring people who have enriched me, given me new reasons to laugh, and helped me discover more about so many things.  People who make me excited about “What’s going to happen today?”  New chapters.

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

Which One Of These Was Not On The “Today” Show?

Which one of these tantalizing news stories was not on NBC’s morning Today show?

A)     Cheerleader Sex Scandal: Former teacher, now a cheerleader for an NFL team, faces charges of having sex with former students.
B)     Octomom Files For Public Assistance: Nadya Suleman, mother of 14 kids, 8 born from the same pregnancy (she had 6 kids already) is broke.
C)    Woman Celebrates 90^th Birthday With 11 Hot Babes: Senior citizen celebrates achieving her ninth decade her way, and it was hot, hot, hot.
D)    Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful: Woman says prejudice toward her gorgeousness prevents her from getting ahead in the world.

Think a minute before you read on.  Which headline does not belong?

Think, think, think.

Think, think, think.

Ready for the answer?

Phyllis.  Ceil.  Harriet.  Bette Ann.  Pam.  Kim.  Sheryl.  Paige.  Cara.  Janna.  Nancy.   All convened to pay tribute to Ruth on her 90^th birthday.  The celebration — a luncheon at a lovely restaurant.  A favor was given to each attendee, either a gorgeous lavender or purple pashmina (shawl).  As the air conditioning fluctuated on and off in the restaurant, the pashminas went on and the pashminas went off.  On, off, on, off, on, off.  There we were, 11 “hot babes,” depending on the moment according to the air conditioner setting.

Now you know, the correct answer as to “Which One Was Not On The Today Show?” is “C.”

Disappointed?  You had in mind another kind of hot babes?

Ruth’s posse ranged from daughters and granddaughters to sisters-in-law and nieces.  The age spectrum started at early 30’s (who sat at the ‘kids’ table) to somewhere in the 80’s.

The big news-of-the-day headlines are always like answers A, B and D.  I imagine that if Ruth did have the other kind of hot babes at her party, it would have been a newsmaker.

News in 1922, the year Ruth was born, included the launch of Reader’s Digest magazine, Ralph Samuelson became the first person to ski on water, Judy Garland was born, insulin was first used to treat diabetes, the Eskimo Pie was patented, and the first female senator was elected.

In my humble opinion, anyone who is blessed to live well into their senior years with the beauty and grace of Ruth is worthy of notoriety.  At 90 years and still counting, one has truly lived through the best of times and the worst of times…..and survived.  So, although “C” didn’t make it to the Today show, this occasion was certainly a milestone of newsworthy proportion.

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

Wallflowers Unite

Alone.  Lonely.  To reveal you’re either, for some bizarre reason I’ve never understood, is taboo in our society.  Put them in a different perspective, and it’s in these moments that treasures can be found.

The bigger the crowd, the lonelier I sometimes feel.  Some people go to a party and the moment they arrive they’re enthusiastic attitude resonates “I’m here!  Let’s get this party started!”  I, in contrast, feel so vulnerable.  Like a wallflower.  Who will I talk to?  Will anyone talk to me?

When I was around 12 years old, my enormous family had a gigantic family reunion.  I was having a rough go of it.  The minutes ticked like hours.  I ached with that internal crumbling feeling.  Wandering, I locked eyes with a girl about my age sitting alone. I walked over to her and struck up a conversation.  “Jody” and I have been best friends ever since.  We’ve shared decades of life events, good and not so good.  Over the years we’ve lived hundreds of miles apart.  Today we’re within five minutes of each other and although distance doesn’t separate us, our busy lives do.  But anytime we’re together — like today when we met for lunch, we have a knack for picking up right where we left off.

Another time, when I was 30-something, I was headed to a professional meeting of graphic designers, writers, etc., where I wouldn’t know a soul.  Beforehand, that dreaded solemn wave of distress overcame me.  I went and entered a roomful of people.  Who will I talk to?  Will anyone talk to me?  I noticed a woman standing alone and introduced myself.  “Rhonda” and I became close friends and unofficial business partners.  We clicked on a personal level instantly and our professional work together became award-winning.  Both continue to this very today.

I guess the lesson here is that when we feel alone or lonely, it can be a good thing.

“Everlasting Matrimony” book
(click on book)

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

How Could This Possibly Have Happened?

The unexpected.  It’s what happens when you have everything planned out perfectly.  And when the rollercoaster gets going, you just have to let life take flight.

My daughter’s preparation for semester exams at school this past week gave me flashbacks of how true this is.

Flashback #1: When my daughter was in kindergarten, the students were studying the metamorphosis of caterpillars.  They had a rearing sleeve on display in the classroom to watch the caterpillars transform day-by-day…I came across a recipe in a magazine for a butterfly-shaped cake and contacted the teacher and offered to make it and bring it to class on the day that the caterpillars would transform into butterflies.  What a fun party idea!  The date and time — 9:30 a.m. — was set.  I baked and decorated two cakes (to make sure there was enough for every student) the day before.  They were beautiful.  At 8:00 a.m. the next morning, I set one cake in my mini-van and went back inside our house to get the other one.  When I got back to the van, my dog peered up with icing smeared all over his face!  Panic!  I drove my daughter to school and gave her strict orders, “Tell your teacher I will be there by 9:30 with the butterfly cakes.  But don’t tell her what happened.”   As sweet, young innocent children always do in their meek little voices, she asked, “Why?”  There was no time to explain nor did I want to try.  I just made her promise to keep it our secret…There was no way I could bake and ice another cake in one hour.  Like lightning, an idea struck.  I dashed to the grocery store and bought cupcakes.  Came home, cut off the bad butterfly wing, reinvented it with cupcakes shoved together, re-iced the cake, raced to school, and arrived in kindergarten class in the nick of time.  To this day, for my daughter and me, our secret is still our secret.

Flashback #2: I was in 8^th grade.  I lived in Daytona Beach.  My Geometry teacher often took us to the beach, which was a stone’s throw away from the junior high school.  (Can you imagine this ever being allowed today???)  It was the day of a Geometry test.  Usually an easy A.  On the morning bus ride to school, the girl sitting next to me told me about a day she forgot everything and flunked a test.  The power of suggestion bit me.  I flunked the Geometry test.  I couldn’t remember a thing.  My teacher called my house that night to speak to me, “Sheryl, I know you know this material.  I want you to re-take the test tomorrow.”  (Can you imagine this ever happening today???)  It was an easy A.

Flashback #3: Sometime in my early 20’s, I spent about 9 weeks volunteering in a Junior Achievement program in which I was assigned to an 8^th grade class.  I would go once a week to teach the students a lesson about the world of business.  For one lesson, I arranged a field trip to a local hospital for the students to observe first-hand the inner workings of a big company.  Wendy’s Hamburgers was across the street from the hospital, so I arranged for the school bus to take us there afterward for lunch.  We arrived at the hospital and divided into three groups, each led on a tour by a hospital employee.  The plan was for all three groups to convene in the hospital’s dining room in an hour.  My group of students got on an elevator and in wheels a gurney with a dead body!  Calmly I say to the students, “Most patients in the hospital leave alive.”  The tour continues and finishes.  We return to the dining room and I alert the key staff person that we’re ready for the school bus to pick us up.  I’m waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting.  I inquired about the delay.  The staff person said, “No one has told you?  There is a man outside in the parking lot threatening to commit suicide and we are surrounded by police.”  I calmly turned to the students and said “The bus is running late but will be here soon.”  Eventually, the bus was able to back up to an alternate exit and we departed – after the guy killed himself.  Then we headed to Wendy’s, which was packed.  The manager was quite annoyed at our tardy arrival.  So, I told him the whole, truthful story.

“Everlasting Matrimony” book
(click on book)

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

What? What? C-O-M-P-A-S-S-I-O-N

Compassion.  It means stepping out of yourself, tossing your ego to the wind, and reaching deep into your soul to help another.

Over the past few years, my mom, a true best friend, has been losing her hearing.  She now wears two hearing aids.  They help a lot, to a degree.  Noisy restaurants are bedlam for her.  The background clinging and clanging obstructs the voices of people sitting right next to her.  My mom is a very outgoing person, and it’s difficult in these instances to see the quietness and look of isolation that overcomes her being.

I’ve noticed that many of us waffle our words when we talk, we don’t articulate.  Not such a big deal if you have good hearing.  “What?  What did you say?” she often asks.  Some people get annoyed when they have to repeat things.

Sometimes mom answers a question that wasn’t asked or makes a comment that is irrelevant because she misheard the sentence before.  That can provoke snickers and laughter.  It’s not one bit funny.

I try to be compassionate by being tuned in to her communication needs.  To be close in proximity when speaking to hear.  Or making sure she is looking at me, without actually verbally suggesting it.  And when I notice that look of isolation, I engage her.

I have another family member who also has hearing challenges.  One time, when people were getting perturbed and impatient with the difficult conversation, he once said, “You think it’s difficult for you?  What about me?  Do you think I enjoy this?”  That registered with everyone involved.

So I’d like to suggest that we each reach from within to notice who’s without.  Who seems forlorn?  Whose eyes express what you hope you never feel?  Who could use a little more of you?  Then, show compassion.

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

A Real-Life Captain Marvel

With the exception of not being able to fly, my “Captain Marv” has superpowers just like the comic book superhero Captain Marvel. Superior wisdom. Enhanced mental perception. Fearlessness.  A champion of good.  A bit goofy, witty and fun, too.

My Captain Marv is Marvin Simkins.  Three years ago, at 90, he became the oldest newest member of Mensa, the organization of geniuses.  Although I’ve never met him, he has become a hugely inspirational figure to me.  But not because of his intellectual prowess.

Young Lovebirds
Marvin & Bea

I came to know Marvin about 7 years ago, having interviewed him and his bride Bea of 66 years for my Everlasting Matrimony book; they’re featured on pages 132 & 133.

Since then, we’ve exchanged emails and enjoyed occasional phone conversations.  His newsy notes are majestic poetry.  His spoken words are magnificently filled with wisdom only accrued by years of life experience.  I relish the opportunities.

“For me, ‘getting it right’ has been the essential but difficult process in fostering a successful marriage…In my particular instance, I have had difficulty curbing my self-absorbed agenda and am still working on that,” read his lyrical, sprightly prose about striving for marital bliss.

Still Got That Zing

What’s incredible about this man is that if I didn’t know his age, 93, I would guess him to be the reverse.  He’s always planning the next adventure of his life.  Right now, he’s writing a memoir.  A two-volume autobiography (so far).

Marvin’s three-years-ago adventure, getting into Mensa, was an intricate feat. Surfing the web one day, he happened upon a page that said veterans who scored 136 or better on the Army General Classification Test (AGCT) were eligible.  He remembered taking the test in 1943 and beating that score.  Tracking down his records required jumping through government hoops.  Months later, he was notified by mail that, in 1973, there had been a fire where his records were stored, and enclosed were his two pages of what-was-left.  Scarred, but his AGCT score imprint was intact. Voila!  He submitted the Mensa membership application.  His 90^th birthday present: a Mensa “welcome” package!

I’m certain he has no idea how much he has taught me. Everyone needs a “young, older” Captain Marv.

“Everlasting Matrimony” book
(click on book)

Get Along Better provides you relationship “tips” with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice from“real-life experts” are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  Makes an excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!