4 Relationship Tips As Spooky As Halloween

I vividly remember three Halloweens.  One, as a kid, I was a bit obsessed with organization.  My neighborhood had many curvy streets.  I always wanted my younger sister to be happy.  So, one year I slaved over mapping out a route to assure she got gobs of candy during our trick or treat time.  Two, still a kid, I went trick or treating with a friend, and there was a house with no lights on outside but we could see lights on inside.  Our neighborhood was always safe, so we made a joint decision to ring the doorbell.  A woman gave us big handfuls of candy, which thrilled us.  When we got home and went through our bags of loot, we realized she had dumped trash in our bags.  Three, as an adult, one year my husband dressed as Dracula and sat outside our front door stone-cold until kids approached him…at which time he bellowed out his vampire howl and scared the bajeezus out of them.  The shenanigans didn’t end there.  The kids had to “earn” their candy by putting their hands into holes carved into a box and feeling the unknown goo.  One smarty-pants said, “That’s pasghetti!”  Mr. and Mrs. Dracula got a mighty big chuckle.

Halloween celebration, much like our relationship with the one we love, is full of ups and downs.  As you contemplate which bags of candy to buy for your trick-or-treaters this year, give some thought to these spooky Halloween-related relationship tips:

1. Don’t be fearful of ghost and goblins.  The aura of Halloween is scary.  Although creepy things may happen and frightening things pop out in the night, trick-or-treaters keep their eye on the goal — candy.  Relationships can be fearful, too.  “Ghosts” are unforeseen challenges.  “Goblins” are annoyances that bother you about your partner.  Life is full of curve balls, good and bad.  And your partner’s irksome habits will always annoy you.  These are some of the bumps in every relationship.  The important part is to deal with them as a couple, and by doing so you will reap the “candy,” the delicious rewards of being together.
2. Wear a costume only for risqué fun together.  On Halloween it’s tradition to dress up as some other character.  This concept doesn’t work in a loving relationship.  You have to show up as yourself.  100% authentic.  100% honest.  When one or both parties pretend to be someone they’re not – “wear a costume” – the relationship is doomed to failure.  As hard as you may try to sustain the falseness or withhold guilt, sooner or later it will seep out in destructive ways.  If you want a great relationship, and to make it even greater, reserve the costume for sexual play!
3. You’ve got to howl.  The epic soundtrack of Halloween is the howling of wolves, a wonderous song heard through the darkness.  Have you ever observed or seen film footage of a wolf howling?  Their entire being is engaged.  Their focus intense.  Every sense participates.  For humans, these same traits are the essence of a meaningful relationship.  Full engagement requires drawing from deep within your soul, opening yourself to feel without boundaries, living with intensity, and allowing complete vulnerability.
4. Avoid the vampire that wants to suck your blood.  Ah, seduction, temptation, manipulation, and power.  They are all the “vampire” of love.  Your relationship will be threatened by intruders, people and circumstances they will make you ponder, “Should I stay?”  These moments can either destroy or strengthen your relationship.  You must consciously decide whether it’s worth the risk, worth putting all you have built together in jeopardy.  Can’t decide?  Remember: The grass is usually greenest under your own two feet.

Get Along Better provides you relationship tips with a twist of humor.  Want more?  4,000+ years’ worth of advice are documented in Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More, a coffee-table book by Sheryl Kurland.  An excellent gift for weddings, anniversaries, engagements…or just because!

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